it's a daily battle that seems to never end. in poor health and waiting 2 years for disability... got no form of income/money and i hate the constant disconnect notices and risks of being evicted... i know that many are hurting and in financial need here... getting no assistance, having no money, no income and no savings is a bite and i'm tired of dealing with it.

i've been praying and believing for so long. why does it never get better? why doesn't it change? the little bit that has gotten me by monthly comes from selling little things here and there and the little help that my poor parents loan me each month from dad's tiny social security check.

mom has large expenses with her monthly medication and other medical expenses. they can't afford to give me any more as their social security check doesn't cover their own expenses.. it breaks my heart to see my 75 yr old dad -- who had to take a part time job just to help out. the company he works for dumps on him and doesn't treat him well. he makes minimum wage and they give him the 'left over' hours and closing shifts. i always dreamed of being able to take care of my family and helping others in need. for a long time i was able to do that. sadly, now i can't even take care of myself. i can't work with my creditors as they expect a person to have some form of income, disability, or otherwise. they don't want to hear that i've been waiting for 2 years for my disability approval. i feel terrible about the whole situation. i feel like i'm complaining. the situation is even worse than i'm telling.

i just don't know what to do anymore. this past 2 years has really taken a toll on me in so many ways. i have unexpected expenses this month.

the cardiologist said he would help me out and then they sent me a bill for $150 that i owe. i can't go back unless i get them paid. i still owe my vet $350 from when madison was so very sick. thanks for those of you who have been praying for my family and me. please pray that i will get some money soon. i'm really dreading some things that i'm considering having to do if i don't get the money i desperately need. pray god will miraculously supply the $450 i need very soon. the cut-off for my phone/internet is tomorrow! i owe for almost 3 months rent on top of everything! i risk being evicted. there are other urgent expenses too!

****I have 1 or 2 days tops to come up with the money for electricity and natural gas - or they will be shut off! Please pray with fervency for a miracle to happen. Each month it seems to get worse! Pray I'll find some things to sell. I don't have money to advertise and people have tried to rip me off when I've tried selling things in the past.****

If you know of anyone who needs nutritional supplements, vitamins, etc - let me know asap. I work with a guy that will give me a few dollars for things I sell (wholesale prices). I'm a nutritionist. I still miss my medical career badly. I miss working with critically ill and injured patients.

I feel like a complete failure since i'm unable to work and dealing with depression on top of it all. Pray for a miracle soon!!!

****IF I'M NOT AROUND HERE IN A DAY OR TWO - YOU'LL KNOW WHY IF YOU READ MY POST HERE! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!****